POLITICO Brussels Playbook Plus: THE CASE FOR BELGIUM — BUDGET BACKLOG — A LOT OF ALAINS

IS BELGIUM A FAILED STATE? A widely read POLITICO opinion article published after the November 2015 Paris terror attacks — which were organized in Brussels under the nose of Belgian authorities — made the case that Belgium is truly dysfunctional. At a public event in Brussels Monday night, a string of Flemish Christian Democrats tried to show that it’s not, with mixed results.  Their keynote speaker, Belgium’s Justice Minister Koen Geens, mounted a spirited defense of the country as a functioning suppressor of terrorism, a land where everyone likes to come to live out their dying days when they turn 80 and are sick of the south of France and Italy (Playbook is not making this up). Geens also allowed that the madcap police chases around Molenbeek that failed to capture accused terrorist Salah Abdeslam were “not very professional,” but he argued that Belgium was merely one in a big group of governments that haven’t done enough to keep on top of radicalism.

THE AUDIENCE WASN’T BUYING IT: Audience members at the Geens event were asked to take part in an opinion poll using their mobile phones. Just 30 percent of the audience said they always feel safe in Brussels. Fully 65 percent said they think the Belgian authorities are not doing enough to protect them from another terror attack.

THE TRUTH BEHIND THE NON-RESIGNATION AFTER THE BRUSSELS ATTACKS: Asked by Playbook why he didn’t put up more of a fight after offering his resignation to Belgian Prime Minister Charles Michel the week after the Brussels attacks in 2016, Geens said he’d never really resigned in the first place — at least not in writing. “It was about 11:20 p.m. and I said to the prime minister if you want me to resign I will,” Geen said. “If you don’t, I won’t.”

THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED: Back when people were making their 2016 New Year’s Resolutions, it would have been easy to imagine British MEP Richard Corbett, an EU constitutional expert, spending the second half of the year figuring out the details of Britain’s new second-tier EU membership arrangements. Instead, Britons voted to leave the EU and now Corbett’s October diary highlight is chairing a conference on “Recreational fishing and the long-term management of sea bass.” If you’re interested it’s on October 11 from 1 p.m. to 3 p.m. in the European Parliament.

SEPARATED AT BIRTH: Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn and Star Wars actor Alec Guinness

NEW EUROPE, NEW PAYWALL: The newspaper New Europe has unveiled a new paywall system. The surprising part: Access costs about the same as a New York Times subscription.

’THE PROTAGONIST OF TRANSPARENCY’: It sounds like a failed Marxist off-Broadway play, but no, it’s merely a phrase European Commission spokesman Margaritis Schinas used this week to describe how the Commission acts in political debates.

BUDGET BACKLOG BLUES: Wondering why there was a delay in the European Parliament’s proposed amendments to the 2017 EU budget? Well, it seems most of the 2,000 or so amendments arrived at the last minute, crashing the system so they had to be entered manually.

PEACHY APARTMENT: French Républicain MEP Anne Sander is sorry for spamming the Parliament about her “very nice” apartment in a part of Brussels where everything seems to be “brand new.” But what we really want to know is whether this brand new member of the French European People’s Party delegation is supporting her old-guard French colleague Alain Lamassoure in his bid for the European Parliament presidency, or whether she thinks it’s time for a woman, such as Françoise Grossetête or Elisabeth Morin-Chartier.

A TALE OF TWO (OR MORE) ALAINS: Lamassoure may not be in as strong a position to take over the Parliament presidency as French media have been trying to claim. He faces challenges both in Brussels and in France. Here in Brussels, his problem may come from within his own French delegation of the center-right EPP: Two of his colleagues, Grossetête and Morin-Chartier, have let it be known they are available to run for the presidency if the party is looking to nominate a woman. According to Playbook’s sources this is less about trying to scupper the leading female EPP contender, Ireland’s Mairead McGuinness, than about trying to torpedo Lamassoure — whom many in the delegation see as arrogant. Some French MEPs are also worried they would lose their own top jobs if Lamassoure ascends to the presidency (under the Parliament’s national quota system). One of those is a second Alain — Alain Cadec — who would be bumped from the chair of the fisheries committee if Alain number one wins. But Lamassoure may manage to rise above all this squabbling with his French EPP colleagues thanks to Alain number three: Alain Juppé. The latter is leading Nicolas Sarkozy in the race for the Républicain nomination for the French presidency in 2017. Lamassoure has long been a close associate of Juppé and informed French sources expect that should Juppé become president of France, Lamassoure would be frontrunner to be his foreign minister. Luckily for Lamassoure he’ll know by the end of November whether Juppé gets the Républicain nod.

ANOTHER JONATHAN FAULL(S): Britain’s Jonathan Hill left the European Commission almost immediately after the Brexit vote (though his likeness still appears on some of the Commission’s social media sites, as you can see in the screenshot). Now another prominent British Jonathan is leaving the Commission after a 38-year career in the institution. Jonathan Faull, a former Commission spokesman who most recently led negotiations with the U.K. on reforms that failed to convince Brits to stay in the EU, will retire on December 31.

TRADING SPACES: Last week we reported that the portraits of Parliament presidents had been relocated in the assembly’s Brussels complex to an area of greater foot traffic, which some saw as a move by Martin Schulz to boost his legacy. We also mentioned there was talk about taking down one of the portraits of Hans Furler — who served two non-consecutive terms as Parliament president. Parliament spokesman Jaume Duch Guillot has the story behind why the portraits were moved one floor up from their previous location: “With the renovation of the entrance to the Altiero Spinelli building and the protocol rooms, there was no longer suitable space for these portraits.” He added: “One of the current portraits of Mr. Furler is in fact a photocopy of the first one, a drawing. The possibility of having a second drawing, in order to stay in line with the series of drawings, based on a photo of Mr. Furler, is now being looked into.”

WHO’S UP:

Mariano Rajoy: The acting Spanish prime minister got a boost last weekend in local elections.

Jeremy Corbyn: The U.K. Labour leader increased his vote share in the party’s leadership contest despite his MPs having tried to eject him months ago.

Viktor Orbán: Hungary’s prime minister looks set to win a referendum on migration by a significant majority.

WHO’S DOWN: 

Alexis Tsipras: The Greek prime minister’s Syriza party is suffering in the polls.

Neelie Kroes: The EU’s former competition/digital commissioner was named in the Bahamas leaks.

Boris Johnson: U.K. foreign minister got scolded by PM Theresa May after suggesting Article 50 could be activated early 2017.

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