Raw starts. Intro to the 2011 Slammys plays. Pyro shoots out.
We are live in Norfolk, Virginia. Tables, ladders, and chairs are set up at ringside.
Commentary: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
The show starts with the first Slammy of the night.
Booker T and Hornswoggle come out to present the award.
[“Tell Me I did Not Just See That” Moment of the Year]
Booker T: “What’s up, Universe!”
Booker says the fact that a Leprechaun can win a battle royal and get a wish to talk from Santa Claus tells him a lot about 2011.
Hornswoggle starts talking. He says that anything can happen, and at TLC Booker will put a beating to Cody Rhodes and win the Intercontinental Championship.
The nominees for the award are:
-Jim Ross dancing at the Michael Cole Challenge.
-Santino nearly winning the Royal Rumble
-R-Truth getting splashed in the face by a fan.
-Miz comes out dressed like The Rock and Rock Bottoms Cena.
The winner is: Jim Ross
Jim comes out to accept his award. He never thought he would win a Slammy for getting “jiggy” with it.
Cole interrupts and enters the ring.
Michael Cole: “Can I have your attention please?! This is ridiculous!”
Cole can’t believe that they’re one award in and it’s already a sham. Ross beat him in a rigged dance contest, and now he’s accepting an award for it. The only thing he did was get “jiggly” with it like a bowl of chocolate pudding.
Booker calls Cole a loser. He lost the dance contest, and he bets that Ross can beat Cole in a Rap off.
Ross, Booker, and Hornswoggle come down to the ring
Booker says that since Cole thinks he’s so good, he can go first. Cole says he listens to Eminem, he doesn’t eat them like Ross.
Cole raps. Crowd boos it.
Booker T: “That was the worst rap I ever heard in my life.”
JR says he’s going to do it freestyle.
Ross raps. He forgets the words to his rap and bombs.
Booker polls the audience. Jim Ross wins the rap off via popularity. JR goes to leave, but Booker stops him. He says the people want to see something they’ve never seen before. They’ve seen a Spinarooni, now they want a “JR-arooni”
Booker’s music plays and he does the Spinarooni. JR’s music plays and he just rolls around on the mat.
Michael Cole: “That is the worst thing I have ever seen in my entire life.” (Author’s Note: I agree.)
Cut to Mick Foley backstage heading to the ring.
-Commercial Break-
Back to the stage for the next award.
[“Holy S**t” Moment of the Year]
Mick Foley and Ted Dibiase Sr. come out together. Foley says he always wanted to come out to Ted’s music. They’re presenting the “Holy S**t moment of the year” Foley says that he has been put through tables and thumbtacks, and even the HIAC, so he’s had as many holy (bleep) moments as anybody else. He doesn’t know why they paired Foley and Ted together other than the fact that Ted’s rich and Foley is “frugal” with his money. Ted mentions that he’s a minister, so Foley says that must mean he’s the holy and that Foley is the…
He decides to move on to the nominations.
The nominees for the award are:
-Sheamus hitting Sin Cara with a powerbomb through a ladder.
-Orton hitting the RKO to Christian on steel steps.
-Mark Henry hitting Big Show with the superplex and breaking the ring.
-Evan Bourne hitting Air Bourne off a ladder onto the other Money in the Bank participants.
The winner is: Big Show and Mark Henry breaking the ring.
Big Show comes out to accept the award. He says that he’s out by himself because Henry’s a little gun shy of him.
Big Show: “You know what’d be good with a Slammy? The World Heavyweight Championship next to it.”
After TLC, he’ll put the two together. He mentions that the award he receive is not for his skills on the mic, but for being visually spectacular. Show says he’s gonna go into the ring and be “visually spectacular” for the fans.
Show heads to the ring for his match.
A replay is shown of last Friday when Mark Henry sucker punched Big Show. Show tackles Henry and attacks Henry’s ankle with a chair.
Wade Barrett, Show’s opponent, comes out with a microphone.
He mentions that he award Show got is a tad premature because of what he’s going to do to Orton at TLC. The award is about unforgettable moments, and he’s gonna have one with Orton. He says that Big Show better not come out of TLC as World Champion, or else the “Barrett Barrage” will come for him.
Barrett heads down the ramp.
-Commercial Break-
[Match #1: Big Show vs. Wade Barrett]
Match is already in progress. Barrett is outside the ring while Big Show is in the ring. Barrett jumps on the apron and drops Show’s jaw on the top rope. Barrett enters the ring and Show knocks him down. Barrett slides out of the ring. Show exits as well. Show has Wade up on his shoulders for what looks like a powerslam, but Wade counters by sliding behind Show and shoving him into the turnbuckle post. Barrett then boots Show into the side of a table. Show lays his head against it. Wade climbs to the top. Show is up to his feet before Wade can jump. Barrett hesitates to jump and Show smashes the table in two with his bare hands. Barrett gets on the apron and Show chops him into the ring. Show enters the ring. Wade exits the ring, grabs a chair. He tries to use it on his opponent, but Show punches it out of his hands before clotheslining him out of the ring.
[Winner by Disqualification: Big Show]
Later tonight, John Cena takes on Mark Henry.
-Commercial Break-
An advertisement for WWE Tribute to the Troops plays. It airs tomorrow at 9/8 p.m. central
Promotional package for Nash versus HHH at TLC airs.
It’s time for another award.
[Pipe Bomb of the Year]
“Road Dogg” Jesse James comes out on stage to present the award.
Jesse James: “Norfolk, Virginia. Welcome to the Dogg House!”
He’s trying to keep his verbiage PG while keeping his lines lyrical. He presents the nominees for Pipe Bomb of the Year.
No real nominees are given. They instead just show a bunch of funny clips from CM Punk, Steve Austin, R-Truth, Santino Marella, Zack Ryder’s “Z True Long Island” Show, Rock, Michael Cole, samples of Booker T’s commentary, and others.
The Winner is: CM Punk
Punk comes with a mannequin wearing a blonde wig and a “Dynamic Dudes” t-shirt. He accepts the award. He says that it’s an honor to win. He thanks a few people, but he wants to take the time to promote a cause. Someone backstage doesn’t get the recognition he deserves and should be in the spotlight. The person deserves an honor all his all. Like the mannequin, this person is boring, 100% nondescript, lacking characteristics. But he and the mannequin are in fact 100% anatomically correct. He presents a tribute video to John Laurinaitis.
A series of clips play of John Laurinaitis both in recent weeks and back when he performed as Johnny Ace to the tune of “The Touch” by Stan Bush, complete with generic eighties text graphics.
Punk says that Johnny couldn’t accept the award because he’s too busy watching “Point Break” and wishing he was Patrick Swayze. He accepts the award on his behalf and leaves.
Later tonight, CM Punk and Randy Orton will take on The Miz and Alberto Del Rio in a tag team match.
An advertisement plays for “The Best of The King of the Ring” DVD.
-Commercial Break-
A Tribute to the Troops advertisement plays.
The next award is announced.
[Divalicious Moment of the Year]
Lita comes out to present the award.
She says that it’s been awhile since was last out here. She’s had many ‘Divalicious’ moments throughout her WWE career.
The nominees are:
-Natalya Neidhart giving a double sharpshooter to Layla and Michelle McCool.
-Kelly Kelly winning the Divas Title for the first time.
-Karma debuting and attacking Michelle McCool.
-Beth Phoenix’s top rope Glam Slam to Eve.
Winner is: Kelly Kelly
Kelly comes out and accepts the award. Suddenly, Beth and Natalya come out as well. Beth tries to take the award and Kelly slaps her away before taking it back. Beth and Natalya retreat from Kelly and Lita.
WWE 12 simulation of John Cena vs. Mark Henry
The next award starts.
[“OMG” Moment of the Year]
Santino Marella comes out. The Bella Twins join him.
Santino says that In WWE, there are moments that stop time and change history. You can’t even blink for one second, and you know nothing will ever be the same. He thinks that “OMG” is pronounced “Ohmege” The Bellas call him an idiot.
Santino Marella: “At least I’m not a couple of money and fame grabbing floosies!”
The nominees are:
-Triple H tombstones Undertaker
-The Rock hits the Rock Bottom on Cena.
-WWE Superstars walk out on HHH.
-Punk takes the WWE Title at Money in the Bank.
The winner is: Triple H tombstones Undertaker.
Triple H comes out with a sledgehammer and heads into the ring instead of accepting the award. He grabs a microphone. He says that the real OMG moment was after the match was over when The Undertaker could not leave the ring without help. Only HHH walked away. Nine months later, Undertaker is no more. The real OMG moment was when the streak came to an end at his hands.
Triple H: “Speaking of coming to an end. That brings me to Kevin Nash.”
A replay is shown of two months ago when Nash attacked HHH from behind with a sledgehammer on the ramp and backstage.
Triple H: “Should’ve finished the job, buddy.”
He thinks their whole friendship was based on lies. This Sunday, “might” will make right. He’ll climb to the top because he is right. He will get the hammer because he is right. He will bring the hammer down on Nash because he is right. All the lies, all the deception, it’s all done. This Sunday, he’ll show the world that he is right and Kevin Nash is simply done.
Triple He exits the ring and heads up the ramp. Santino offers him the award, but Triple H scares him off with the sledgehammer.
-Commercial Break-
Tribute to the Troops stories and photos can be seen on wwe.com
The next award starts.
[Trending Star of the Year]
David Otunga and Tony Atlas come out to present the award.
Otunga tries to introduce the award, but Tony interrupts him by laughing. He asks him to stop, but Tony says he can’t. He just keeps laughing at Otunga. The winner of the award will be announced after the next match.
The nominees are:
-Cody Rhodes
-Daniel Bryan
-Dolph Ziggler
-Zack Ryder
Zack Ryder, Cody Rhodes, Daniel Bryan, and Dolph Ziggler come out to their respective entrances for the match.
Match #2: Zack Ryder vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Dolph Ziggler
The match starts. Cody attacks Daniel while Ryder and Ziggler fight it out. Bryan tosses Cody out of the ring. Ryder does the same to Ziggler. Ryder and Bryan run in opposite directions and dive on top of Cody and Dolph at the same time.
-Commercial Break-
Back from break with Ryder and Bryan in the ring. They grapple. Bryan kicks Ryder and whips him into the turnbuckle. Ryder lifts his knees to Bryan’s face followed by a Broski Boot. He grabs Bryan and pins him for a two count. Ryder whips Bryan, but Bryan flips off the turnbuckle, runs, ducks a clothesline, and he and Ryder hit each other with cross bodies. Cody enters the ring and pins each man for a two count each. Ziggler enters and stares down Cody. They make an agreement between one another and attack Zack and Daniel. Cody grabs Bryan and knocks him down. Dolph hits a neckbreaker while Cody kicks Bryan in the groin. Zack pushed out, now Dolph and Cody double team Bryan with kicks. Dolph tries for a pin, and Cody argues with Dolph about it. Bryan rolls up Cody from behind for a two count. Cody kicks him down and Dolph beats on a returning Ryder. Bryan with roll up countered into a pin followed by a series of pin counters ending with a two count for Cody. Cody tosses Bryan outside. Ziggler hold up Ryder and Cody kicks him. Ryder is pushed out. Dolph rolls up Cody for a two count. Cody kicks Ziggler and hits an Alabama Slam. He pins for a two count. Ziggler rolls out of the ring. Cody remains in the ring.
-Commercial Break-
We’re back and Rhodes has Ryder in a figure four leg lock. Zack gets out of it. Rhodes runs and Ryder hits him with knees. He goes for a Broski Boot to Cody, but Ziggler comes out of nowhere and hits him with a clothesline from the apron. He enters the ring and kicks him while he’s down. He lifts Zack up and goes for a neckbreaker but Ryder rolls him up for a two count. Bryan hops over the apron and pins for a two count. Ziggler hits both men with a double clothesline and all four are down. Cody gets up and hits Beautiful Disaster to Ziggler but Bryan breaks it up. He hits Cody with European uppercuts and then kicks him into a corner. Bryan runs and dropkicks Cody in the turnbuckle. He climbs to the top, but Cody drops him on the turnbuckle pad. Ryder climbs up on the opposite turnbuckle, but Ziggler punches him down on the turnbuckle pad. Ryder climbs the top, but Ziggler knocks hits him. Ziggler and Cody hit superplexes on Ryder and Bryan at the same time. All four men are down again. Ziggler and Rhodes are up and trade punches. Ryder gets up and hits Rough Ryder to Ziggler. Cody grabs Ryder and hits Cross Rhodes. He goes for a pin, but Bryan grabs Cody and tries to apply the Lebell Lock. Suddenly Dolph runs over to Bryan and applies a sleeper hold on him. Ryder goes to break it, but Dolph ducks it and Ryder falls out of the ring. Bryan breaks free but Dolph quickly hits him with the Zig Zag for the three count.
Winner: Dolph Ziggler by pinfall.
Jerry Lawler enters the ring and congrats Dolph on winning the match. Now it’s time to find out who won Trending Star of the Year.
Winner is: Zack Ryder
Ryder goes to accept his award from Lawler, but gets a Zig Zag from Dolph. Ziggler takes the award and leaves the ring.
Henry/Cena is still on for later tonight.
-Commercial Break-
“Hello Good Morning” by Diddy-Dirty Money is the official theme song of the 2011 Slammys.
Time for the next award.
[Game Changer of the Year]
Christian comes out to present the award.
He says that he would first like to present the award of “Courageous Moment of the Year” to himself for showing up while injured. But at the moment he’s presenting Game Changer of the year, the one specific moment that changed the entire landscape of WWE. Before they roll the footage, he wants to know how he’s not nominated not only for this award, but for Superstar of the Year as well. He won two World Championships. As he looks around the arena at their stupid faces, he blames the WWE Universe for not showing enough outrage over not getting what he deserves: one more match for the World Heavyweight Championship.
The nominees are:
-HHH relieves Mr. McMahon of his duties.
-Edge makes his retirement speech.
-Nash powerbombs Punk and Alberto cashes in to win WWE Title.
-The Rock challenges John Cena to a match at WrestleMania.
The winner is: The Rock challenges John Cena
Cena comes out to accept the award.
He says that this game changing award moment is not resting on the shoulders of one man. He’s not taking all the credit. He then introduces the most electrifying man in all of sports entertainment, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. Rock doesn’t come out.
John Cena: “What? What do you mean he’s not here?”
Rock said he was never leaving. Get his assistant Bryan. Bryan’s not backstage either? No, it’s a severe error on his part. He knows that Rock shows up via satellite. He asks for the recorded footage to be played. No footage plays.
John Cena: “We don’t have a clip? This is worse than JR’s rap!”
He apologizes on behalf of “Team Bring It” for not bringing it tonight. That doesn’t make the game changing moment worth any less. In fact it makes it worth more because Rock will soon see this show and it will fuel his preparation and dedication and make him do what the Rock does best: bring boots to asses. The Real game changing moment is on April 1st for WrestleMania. Miami will get Cena at his very best. Hopefully Rock will be at his very best. WrestleMania will be the biggest event in the history of WWE. The award means they changed the game for the year. But at Miami, they’re gonna change the game forever.
John Cena versus Mark Henry is the main event, and Punk/Orton vs. Miz/Del Rio is next.
-Commercial Break-
There’s a replay of last Monday’s contract signing. Punk attacks Del Rio and Miz.
Justin Roberts introduces Ricardo Rodriguez. Alberto Del Rio comes out in a 1960 Rolls-Royce. He enters the ring.
Miz comes out and enters the ring.
There’s another replay, this time of Miz beating Orton by count out last Monday.
Randy Orton comes out and enters the ring.
CM Punk comes out and enters the ring.
Match #3: CM Punk and Randy Orton vs. The Miz and Alberto Del Rio
The match starts. Punk and Miz start out. Miz backs into a corner from Punk’s kick. They tie up. Punk goes for a snapmare followed by another kick. He grabs Miz and scoop slams him before hitting a leg drop. He then arm wrenches into a leg lock. He tags Orton and Orton kicks Miz in the foot, the arm, and then a knee to the side for the two count. Orton lifts Miz up and hits a vertical suplex on Miz for a one count. Orton whips Miz into the turnbuckle; Miz elbows him in the face and plants him with a DDT for a two count. Miz grabs Orton and tags in Del Rio. Rio kicks him down and knees him against the mat. Miz attacks Orton while Del Rio distracts the ref. Del Rio dropkicks Orton in the back of the head. Miz tags himself in and kicks Orton into the corner. Orton punches Rio and Miz, but Miz pummels him back down. Rio with a cheap shot from the apron. Miz pins Orton for a two count. Headlock applied to Orton. Orton with a back suplex. Miz tags in Del Rio. Orton tags Punk and Punk hits a springboard clothesline following by a tilt-a-whirl neckbreaker for a two count. Punk hits Rio with a high knee into a bulldog for a two count. Punk goes for the GTS, but Rio counters, grabs the ref, and Miz grabs Punk from behind with a neck snap on the ropes while the referee is distracted. Rio tags Miz in.
-Commercial Break-
We’re back and Miz has a sleeper hold on Punk. Punk counters out of it and backslide pins for a two count. Miz get right up and clothesline Punk for a two count. Miz grabs Punk and tags in Del Rio. Rio kicks Punk down and applies an arm lock submission. Punk gets back up and headbutts Rio off. He arm drags Rio down. Punk hits a tilt-a-whirl neckbreaker on Rio. Both men are down. Rio tags Miz and kicks Punk away from Orton. Miz hits Punk with a knee to the back followed by a kick to the chest. He continues with a leg drop to Punk. Miz goes for Skull Crushing Finale, but Punk counters into a roll up for a two count. Miz kicks him once more and tags Del Rio back in. Rio with a double knee arm breaker. He whips Punk into the turnbuckle and kicks him in the ribs. Tag to Miz. Miz backs up and running clotheslines Punk into the corner. Miz with a two count. Miz kicks Punk in the head and taunts Orton. He goes for Skull Crushing Finale again, but Punk counters into the GTS. Miz drops down and goes for an inverted facelock backbreaker, but Punk counters with a kick to the back of the head. Both men are down. Punk goes for tag, but Rio applies anklelock. Wade Barrett suddenly appears from within the crowd and pulls Orton off the apron before running away. Miz runs at Punk at the turnbuckle, but he ducks it. He goes for GTS again, and Miz counters once more. He hits Skull Crushing Finale to Punk for the three count.
Winners: The Miz and Alberto Del Rio via pinfall.
Orton heads into the crowd to chase after Barrett. Miz and Del Rio grab the ladder at ringside and smack Punk with it. They place the ladder on Punk and Rio stomps down on it. Miz now with a microphone. Del Rio applies the Cross Arm breaker to Punk while his arm’s wedged in the ladder.
Miz says that he’ll make sure Punk makes it to TLC because one of them is walking out WWE Champion. He wants Punk to watch this moment for the next six days. The pipe bomb is going to blow up in his face. At TLC, there will be no more championship for Punk.
The Miz: “Pipe bomb engaged.”
A promotional package for Kane’s return plays.
-Commercial Break-
WWE Network promotional package plays. “Mean” Gene Okerlund possibly in Legends House.
Time for another award.
[WWE A-Lister of the Year]
Vickie Guerrero and Goldust come out to present it.
Goldust says Vickie is already a winner. She’s the only one who wears more makeup than him.
Vickie Guerrero: “EXCUSE ME?!”
The nominees are:
-Hugh Jackman
-The Muppets
-Snooki
-Cee-Lo Green
The Winner is: Snooki
Vickie looks disgusted. She says it figures that Snooki couldn’t be here, but she has a recorded message.
Snooki thanks WWE for the award. She thanks the fans for being great. She never knew what to expect at WM. She wishes fellow Guido Zack Ryder the best of luck at TLC.
Cut to Josh Matthews backstage with Mark Henry. He asks him about his thoughts on Big Show and John Cena with six days left until TLC.
Mark Henry: “If Big Show thought what I did to him was bad, he ain’t seen nothing yet.”
Mark says that Cena embarrassed him last week. He got into his business. If he was Cena, he wouldn’t worry about WM. He would worry about getting inducted into the “Hall of Pain” tonight.
-Commercial Break-
WWE Magazine highlight: “The TLC Handbook”
Sheamus comes out to the ring for his match. Jinder Mahal comes out soon after with a microphone. He says that tonight, the “Great White” will play supporting role in his Slammy award winning performance. He enters the ring and seconds later receives a Brogue Kick. The match never starts. Sheamus leaves the ring.
-Commercial Break-
It’s now time for the last award of the show.
[Superstar of the Year]
Rey Mysterio comes out the present the award.
Rey says it feels good to be back. He adds that this award is the greatest honor for any WWE Superstar because the WWE Universe gets to decide who wins. Being Superstar of the Year is a great honor, but performing for all the fans is the greatest honor any wrestler could have.
The nominees are:
-Randy Orton
-The Miz
-CM Punk
-Alberto Del Rio
-Mark Henry
-John Cena
The Winner is: CM Punk
Punk’s music plays, but John Laurinaitis comes out instead. He takes the award from Rey. He says that Punk will defend the WWE Title in a triple threat TLC match on Sunday. Unfortunately Punk is in no condition to accept the award. He humbly accepts it for him and leaves.
Cut to the backstage area. Mark Henry is heading to the ring. We suddenly get another “January 2nd, 2012” interruption.
-Commercial Break-
Jerry and Cole share a personal story of Jennifer, a soldier in Afghanistan, meeting Mr. McMahon at Tribute to the Troops. Her husband and son have been given front row seats to tonight’s Raw.
Mark Henry comes down to the ring.
John Cena comes down to the ring.
Match #4: Mark Henry vs. John Cena
Match starts. They tie up and Henry throws Cena to the mat.
-Commercial Break-
Back from break, Henry splashes Cena into the turnbuckle and drops him for a two count. Henry goes for a splash on the mat, but Cena rolls out of it. Mark runs and Cena leapfrogs over him. Cena runs and Henry slams him down for a two count. Henry squeezes Cena’s head. Cena powers out and hits a back suplex. Cena goes for Five Knuckle Shuffle and hits it. He lifts Henry up for Attitude Adjustment, but Henry is too heavy and he flattens Cena for a two count. Henry pushes Cena into the corner and headbutts him down. He drives a leg into his throat. Henry lifts Cena up and goes for a powerslam, but Cena slips out and punches Henry. He goes for a shoulder tackle, but Henry is still standing. He goes for another, but Henry grabs him in a bear hug. Cena fights out of it, but Henry grabs him and hits a World’s Strongest Slam. Suddenly, pyro explodes and the lights go out.
Kane’s music hits!
Kane comes out to his old music, and he’s in new attire and is wearing a metal mask. Kane enters the ring and stares Henry down. Henry exits the ring quickly.
Winner: No Contest
As Cena gets up, Kane grabs him and chokeslams him. Kane summons pyro from the turnbuckles and takes off the mask to reveal…another mask. This mask looks more like the original, but with skin-like texture. The camera zooms on Kane’s face as Raw comes to an end.